you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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