What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Randomize
