i think i have herpe
just one?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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