So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize