It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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