apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
