took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
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You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
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My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize