Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
