Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
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