He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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