I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
