You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
