therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
