I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
