just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
