Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
