just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
