The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
