just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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