In the future we'll all be gay
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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