Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
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All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
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Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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