So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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