I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
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