Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
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