Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize