Nicole vs. Life
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
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