OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize