Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
