The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
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