I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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