I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize