Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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