I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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