I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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