Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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