Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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