No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
