can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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