you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
