I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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