Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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