do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
