how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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