I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize