went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
