He is such a slut. More and more my type.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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