Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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