your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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