i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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