Whats the count minus fat chicks?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
