Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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