Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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