If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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