How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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