I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
