I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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