i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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