Apparently you make a good broom.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
