I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
