so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
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she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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