Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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